It was a nice break from the ordinary this past basketball season when we didn't have "snack duty" after games. But, alas, the reprieve was short lived. We're into baseball season and yesterday we had our first of two snack duties (luck of the draw).
I just don't get the point of providing snacks after little league games. Are they really that hungry after a 75-minute game? They each have water in the dugout during the game, so do they really need juice, too? If the reason they are playing the game is to get the snack, then maybe they aren't playing for the right reasons.
Inevitably there is a game when someone forgets to bring their assigned snack and I am always shocked at the number of kids that are indignant, asking "where is the snack?" Even better is the parent that brings the meal for a snack - juice, sweet, chips. Never mind that it's usually right before or after lunch/dinner. Is this a new competition? Are we being judged by the quantity of our snacks?
The only time I remember getting a snack when I played growing up was when we got orange slices after our soccer games and that may have had something to do with the fact that we were the Orange Crush.
Hopefully my children aren't embarrassed by the snacks I bring. I really would like to boycott the whole event, but I do break down and provide a juice and something small - like a bag of fruit chews. What's funny is that as they're getting older, some of the kids have to be chased down to give them their snacks (my daughter, in her sense of fairness, had to make sure everyone got some).
Can we PLEASE band together and do away with this silliness? Of course, if you have an argument supporting the frivolous tradition, by all means, post away.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
A rule is a rule
A couple of months ago a high school basketball player said he didn't want to cut his hair and was kicked off his team. His parents decided to sue, for among other reasons, that girls aren't held to the same standard. Oh please.
In direct contrast is the story of BYU forward Brandon Davies. Davies turned himself in for having premarital sex with his girlfriend - a violation of the BYU honor code. He turned himself in. BYU officials - to my knowledge - were not knocking on his dorm door trying to catch him in a compromising situation. But Davies knew what he did and he fessed up. Did it hurt him personally? Yes. Did it hurt his team? Yes. He let a lot of people down by taking this course of action. Yet, he knew what he did was against team and school rules. And he accepted the consequences.
We can joke about the rules at BYU or think they are arcane, but the bottom line is, Davies knew what he was signing up for; he knew the rules of the game at BYU. If you don't want to - or can't - abide by the rules, then you don't sign an agreement to play at that school. It really is as simple as that.
There is no RIGHT to play on a sports team. You earn it. To have the privilege means you also agree to follow the rules. If you're more concerned about your individual expression of fashion, then go do something solo - be a guitar player, compete in chess or become a long distance runner. If you don't like the rules and think you'll be tempted to break them, then don't even put yourself in that situation.
When I was in high school, basketball was one of the most important things to me - and definitely the most important extracurricular activity. The school and team had policies about drinking, academics and basically staying out of trouble. You know what? Basketball meant so much to me that I skipped the parties with alcohol. I chose not to break curfew. And I studied hard. I didn't want to be suspended or kicked off the team. I knew the rules and I played by them. That was my choice. I didn't have a right to be on the team and I didn't want to take any chances.
So it really comes down to making a decision. Either you play by the rules or you don't. But if you CHOOSE not to, then you have to be willing to accept the consequences. I am very weary of the people who don't think the rules apply to them.
Please follow my blog, leave a comment or pass the link on! Thanks for reading.
In direct contrast is the story of BYU forward Brandon Davies. Davies turned himself in for having premarital sex with his girlfriend - a violation of the BYU honor code. He turned himself in. BYU officials - to my knowledge - were not knocking on his dorm door trying to catch him in a compromising situation. But Davies knew what he did and he fessed up. Did it hurt him personally? Yes. Did it hurt his team? Yes. He let a lot of people down by taking this course of action. Yet, he knew what he did was against team and school rules. And he accepted the consequences.
We can joke about the rules at BYU or think they are arcane, but the bottom line is, Davies knew what he was signing up for; he knew the rules of the game at BYU. If you don't want to - or can't - abide by the rules, then you don't sign an agreement to play at that school. It really is as simple as that.
There is no RIGHT to play on a sports team. You earn it. To have the privilege means you also agree to follow the rules. If you're more concerned about your individual expression of fashion, then go do something solo - be a guitar player, compete in chess or become a long distance runner. If you don't like the rules and think you'll be tempted to break them, then don't even put yourself in that situation.
When I was in high school, basketball was one of the most important things to me - and definitely the most important extracurricular activity. The school and team had policies about drinking, academics and basically staying out of trouble. You know what? Basketball meant so much to me that I skipped the parties with alcohol. I chose not to break curfew. And I studied hard. I didn't want to be suspended or kicked off the team. I knew the rules and I played by them. That was my choice. I didn't have a right to be on the team and I didn't want to take any chances.
So it really comes down to making a decision. Either you play by the rules or you don't. But if you CHOOSE not to, then you have to be willing to accept the consequences. I am very weary of the people who don't think the rules apply to them.
Please follow my blog, leave a comment or pass the link on! Thanks for reading.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Encourage their dreams
I went to a memorial service for my dear friend's daughter today. If there is something more heartbreaking than losing a child, I don't want to know about it. I now know two people dear to me that have lost a child and I can only imagine how terrible that pain is - because I know how awful I feel as I remember the life lost 15 years ago, and how helpless I feel as I try to comfort my friend today and going forward.
But today's service was a celebration for a young woman that truly embraced all life had to offer. While I wasn't fortunate to know Holly well personally, I am inspired by her. All I've learned about her through her Mom, her travel blog and the words of her friends make me realize that to live without regrets is to live without limiting your imagination.
You see, Holly grabbed life by the horns. She loved to travel - and so she did. Her sense of adventure was legion. One of Holly's friends said she encouraged them to dream with their eyes wide open. I love that. She spent the last six months traveling Asia after the job in China (teaching English as a second language) didn't turn out exactly how she had planned. So she rode elephants, worked on an organic farm, interacted with people from around the world and smiled the whole time. Many people comment on Holly's engaging green eyes. But for me, her smile lit up her face and made everything around her glow with the light inside.
As I reflect on Holly's short 25 years, I realize there have been times I've given up on my dreams. Or not done something because it wouldn't be wise. Or backed away from doing something that would make me happy because it didn't fit into my schedule. But most disconcerting is the realization that I have the power to stifle my children's dreams. My "knowledge" of the real world and its realities are no reason to give them the idea that it's OK to back away from their dreams, but sometimes I do.
But today's service was a celebration for a young woman that truly embraced all life had to offer. While I wasn't fortunate to know Holly well personally, I am inspired by her. All I've learned about her through her Mom, her travel blog and the words of her friends make me realize that to live without regrets is to live without limiting your imagination.
You see, Holly grabbed life by the horns. She loved to travel - and so she did. Her sense of adventure was legion. One of Holly's friends said she encouraged them to dream with their eyes wide open. I love that. She spent the last six months traveling Asia after the job in China (teaching English as a second language) didn't turn out exactly how she had planned. So she rode elephants, worked on an organic farm, interacted with people from around the world and smiled the whole time. Many people comment on Holly's engaging green eyes. But for me, her smile lit up her face and made everything around her glow with the light inside.
As I reflect on Holly's short 25 years, I realize there have been times I've given up on my dreams. Or not done something because it wouldn't be wise. Or backed away from doing something that would make me happy because it didn't fit into my schedule. But most disconcerting is the realization that I have the power to stifle my children's dreams. My "knowledge" of the real world and its realities are no reason to give them the idea that it's OK to back away from their dreams, but sometimes I do.
If my daughter says she wants to play basketball in college and study to be a dolphin trainer, then I need to find ways to help her move in that direction - not tell her why it may not happen. Likewise, if my son has it planned out to play football and baseball for the Georgia Bulldogs, then you know what? Go for it. Too often I respond to their dreams by telling them how hard it will be or listing all of the obstacles they will face. While it's important for them to know all of this, it will happen in due time. I don't need to disillusion them now. In my mind, I'm preparing them so they won't be disappointed. That's the Mom in me wanting to protect them. But I'm beginning to see that the thrill of the chase - and the dream itself - are part of the fun and to take that from them will make them miss out on a lot of exciting things.
So, I am going to remember Holly when I feel the need to temper expectations. I am going to remember a woman that understood that our life here is short - no matter what our age. Life needs to be lived like the grand adventure it is. Thank you, Holly. See you on the other side.
So, I am going to remember Holly when I feel the need to temper expectations. I am going to remember a woman that understood that our life here is short - no matter what our age. Life needs to be lived like the grand adventure it is. Thank you, Holly. See you on the other side.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Ode to Toomer's Corner
I am by no means an Auburn fan. However, the poisoning of the oaks at Toomer's Corner is a truly despicable act. And I'm not alone in my disbelief. This malicious act has brought together fans across the board. Yes, even Alabama fans have expressed regret and outrage that one of their own would stoop so low.
If you haven't heard the story, an Alabama fan poisoned the trees by spreading a large amount of an herbicide around the base of the trees. Horticulturists don't expect the trees to live. These 100+ year old trees are going to die and thousands of fans will no longer be able to throw toilet paper on the branches after a big win by the Tigers. This tradition is about 60 years old by most estimates. And those trees were BIG when the tradition started. You just can't replace them over night.
As a University of Illinois graduate, I have suffered through the (unfair) removal of Chief Illiniwek as our symbol. I was at the University of Georgia's Sanford Stadium when Georgia Tech players stripped the Hedges bare after an upset win. There was justifiable outrage on both accounts. They pale to the premeditated killing of these majestic trees by A RIVAL FAN. Now, I personally think it's silly to throw toilet paper at a tree as a way of celebrating a win. I remember cleaning up rolled trees, so I feel for the unfortunate person assigned to clean up the mess. But here's the thing. It's a tradition. Traditions bind us through generations in everything from sports to religion (although to some it's one and the same). Like the cadet and midshipmen parade before the Army-Navy game, the dotting of the "i" during the Ohio State pregame, or the midnight yell at Texas A&M, traditions are what you look forward to, what you know and what you can cherish with people of all generations.
For those of you that are saying "it's just a tree, get over it," you're right. It's not the loss of a parent or a child. And there is no heartache like that. But, I also feel sorry for you because you obviously have never felt so passionate about something that you could find happiness in celebrating the richness of a time-honored tradition or the quickening of your heart when you heard a familiar song.
I don't want my children to be too over the top in supporting a sports team, or anything else for that matter. But I do think it's important to find something that is bigger than you and joins you with others, to celebrate and cheer. We don't live in an isolated world - we are meant to be social. The miserable person who killed Toomer's Corner, along with a little bit of joy in college football, clearly was never taught that it is in fact just a game, that differences are OK, and that you can respect and enjoy others' traditions without switching allegiances. In fact, shooting those traditions down - or in this case killing them - will only make the passions stronger.
If you haven't heard the story, an Alabama fan poisoned the trees by spreading a large amount of an herbicide around the base of the trees. Horticulturists don't expect the trees to live. These 100+ year old trees are going to die and thousands of fans will no longer be able to throw toilet paper on the branches after a big win by the Tigers. This tradition is about 60 years old by most estimates. And those trees were BIG when the tradition started. You just can't replace them over night.
As a University of Illinois graduate, I have suffered through the (unfair) removal of Chief Illiniwek as our symbol. I was at the University of Georgia's Sanford Stadium when Georgia Tech players stripped the Hedges bare after an upset win. There was justifiable outrage on both accounts. They pale to the premeditated killing of these majestic trees by A RIVAL FAN. Now, I personally think it's silly to throw toilet paper at a tree as a way of celebrating a win. I remember cleaning up rolled trees, so I feel for the unfortunate person assigned to clean up the mess. But here's the thing. It's a tradition. Traditions bind us through generations in everything from sports to religion (although to some it's one and the same). Like the cadet and midshipmen parade before the Army-Navy game, the dotting of the "i" during the Ohio State pregame, or the midnight yell at Texas A&M, traditions are what you look forward to, what you know and what you can cherish with people of all generations.
For those of you that are saying "it's just a tree, get over it," you're right. It's not the loss of a parent or a child. And there is no heartache like that. But, I also feel sorry for you because you obviously have never felt so passionate about something that you could find happiness in celebrating the richness of a time-honored tradition or the quickening of your heart when you heard a familiar song.
I don't want my children to be too over the top in supporting a sports team, or anything else for that matter. But I do think it's important to find something that is bigger than you and joins you with others, to celebrate and cheer. We don't live in an isolated world - we are meant to be social. The miserable person who killed Toomer's Corner, along with a little bit of joy in college football, clearly was never taught that it is in fact just a game, that differences are OK, and that you can respect and enjoy others' traditions without switching allegiances. In fact, shooting those traditions down - or in this case killing them - will only make the passions stronger.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Snowed In
So, yes, it snowed in Atlanta. We got six inches at my house. I went to college in Illinois and my friends from up there think it's hysterical that the snow shuts down the city. But we don't have a snowplow for each major road and ice is really our worst enemy. So we choose to close school and ask that people don't drive. Because here it is: I don't care what you say, even if you're from the north, you can't drive on ice.
Anyway, first we had a Christmas Day snow and now a big storm has kept the kids out of school for the entire week. Having time off is one thing when you know about it in advance. You plan things to do, you set up playdates, and basically have it arranged so that you aren't stuck with the same people for a straight 72 hours. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. But after a while everyone starts to go a tad bit stir crazy.
But do you know what? We made some great memories during "Snowmaggedon 2011." While sledding down the street on my 30+ year old American Flyer sled is close to the top of the list, the thing that had us laughing the most was playing Snow Sports. We played snow soccer. Soccer takes on a whole new twist when the ball stops suddenly in a snow drift or your foot gets stuck as you crunch through some ice. My son and I played for about 45 minutes. And to prove that a change in scenery can make a difference, he actually said the game was over WITH ME WINNING! I know he hates to lose (I'm glad - I don't want my kids to ever like losing) and at 5 years old we have our share of tears when things don't go our way while playing a game. So I was so very proud of him in this moment when he said I was the winner in overtime and gave me a post-game handshake and "good game."
We also played two-on-two football - tackle football. Now, when there isn't snow on the ground, I don't play tackle football. But my kids' laughter as they were thrown down into the snow - or as they watched me get a face full of snow - was infectious. My husband had the best move of the day when he stretched over the goal line - but I'll be worried about the blueberry bush he landed on until I see fruit on it again. Football ended abruptly when my daughter had a friend come over - who not surprisingly looked at us and didn't want to join in - so my son and I just ganged up on my husband, who at that point tried REALLY hard not to get tackled. That would have been a shot to the ego. I will not say what the final outcome was of that particular play.
The kids invented a new version of freeze - not too much of a stretch in these temperatures. They would run down the hill as fast as they could and jump in an iced-over spot. Then they would just let themselves fall. I'm not sure if it was funnier to see them get snow in the strangest places or watch them try and get back up! They went down the snow-covered slide and jumped on swings covered with snow. My daughter loved being able to fly off her swing knowing she had a cushion of snow to land in.
Yes, we were snowed in for a week, if snowed in means not leaving the neighborhood. But the true delight on my kids' rosy red faces really made it OK. The fact that they actually came up with fun things to do outside on their own was great. I get so tired of telling them to go outside and play and they say "but there's nothing to do!" If we don't try to micromanage every minute of the day, I find that they usually are quite capable of figuring it out.
The last time we had a snow like this was 1993. I'm ready to see the grass and get back into a routine, but I truly hope we don't have to wait another 18 years. I won't have young kids at home to remind me not to act my age for a little while.
(Sorry, unfortunately there are no pictures to post with this because I was far too busy playing to take any!)
Anyway, first we had a Christmas Day snow and now a big storm has kept the kids out of school for the entire week. Having time off is one thing when you know about it in advance. You plan things to do, you set up playdates, and basically have it arranged so that you aren't stuck with the same people for a straight 72 hours. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. But after a while everyone starts to go a tad bit stir crazy.
But do you know what? We made some great memories during "Snowmaggedon 2011." While sledding down the street on my 30+ year old American Flyer sled is close to the top of the list, the thing that had us laughing the most was playing Snow Sports. We played snow soccer. Soccer takes on a whole new twist when the ball stops suddenly in a snow drift or your foot gets stuck as you crunch through some ice. My son and I played for about 45 minutes. And to prove that a change in scenery can make a difference, he actually said the game was over WITH ME WINNING! I know he hates to lose (I'm glad - I don't want my kids to ever like losing) and at 5 years old we have our share of tears when things don't go our way while playing a game. So I was so very proud of him in this moment when he said I was the winner in overtime and gave me a post-game handshake and "good game."
We also played two-on-two football - tackle football. Now, when there isn't snow on the ground, I don't play tackle football. But my kids' laughter as they were thrown down into the snow - or as they watched me get a face full of snow - was infectious. My husband had the best move of the day when he stretched over the goal line - but I'll be worried about the blueberry bush he landed on until I see fruit on it again. Football ended abruptly when my daughter had a friend come over - who not surprisingly looked at us and didn't want to join in - so my son and I just ganged up on my husband, who at that point tried REALLY hard not to get tackled. That would have been a shot to the ego. I will not say what the final outcome was of that particular play.
The kids invented a new version of freeze - not too much of a stretch in these temperatures. They would run down the hill as fast as they could and jump in an iced-over spot. Then they would just let themselves fall. I'm not sure if it was funnier to see them get snow in the strangest places or watch them try and get back up! They went down the snow-covered slide and jumped on swings covered with snow. My daughter loved being able to fly off her swing knowing she had a cushion of snow to land in.
Yes, we were snowed in for a week, if snowed in means not leaving the neighborhood. But the true delight on my kids' rosy red faces really made it OK. The fact that they actually came up with fun things to do outside on their own was great. I get so tired of telling them to go outside and play and they say "but there's nothing to do!" If we don't try to micromanage every minute of the day, I find that they usually are quite capable of figuring it out.
The last time we had a snow like this was 1993. I'm ready to see the grass and get back into a routine, but I truly hope we don't have to wait another 18 years. I won't have young kids at home to remind me not to act my age for a little while.
(Sorry, unfortunately there are no pictures to post with this because I was far too busy playing to take any!)
Friday, January 7, 2011
What do we really value?
So, Andrew Luck - Stanford's QB and the most likely #1 pick in this year's NFL draft - has elected to stay in school for his senior year. And you would think that he just decided to embrace communism the way some people are talking.
I personally love it. College is one of those special times that you just can't get back. Barring a horrific injury, the NFL will be there for him next year. So what if he's not the #1 pick? He will be a first round choice and do very well. The NFL knows talent and won't penalize him for staying in school. They'll just be looking at the numbers. So, good for him. And it's not like he won't have a STANFORD degree to fall back on if he needs it.
But no, some people are saying how stupid he is for making this decision. These are probably the same people that lose sleep when the star on their team does elect to leave school for the professional ranks early. They are the ones that ask for loyalty and beg these players to come back, help their team and earn their degree. But now they think he's a fool for passing up the dollar?
So, which is it? Do you want them to be loyal or should they take the money and run? Everyday people can debate this because they will never have the chance to make the decision.
Like I said, I love it. Good for you Andrew Luck. I will be rooting for you and the Cardinal next season (with or without Jim Harbaugh - but that is another blog). You are a shining example for our young people. We are always saying that money isn't everything, and you prove it. You should do things for the love of the game, or the love of whatever occupation you are in, if you're lucky enough to have that opportunity. And it doesn't hurt that he is actually fulfilling his role as a student-athlete as well.
Now, I would not have been at all surprised if he would have made the other choice. The dream to play on Sundays and to make an obscene amount of money is about to be fulfilled. And I wouldn't have had any problem with his choice. In fact, there wouldn't be any discussion about it because, unfortunately, his decision not to go pro is the exception, not the rule.
But to all the naysayers, give it a rest. He made his decision and I'm reasonably certain he's happy with it. Can you give me one example where a player that decided to stay in school has later said he regretted that decision? I know we can find numerous examples of players that have left college early and wish they had stayed. Let him enjoy being a college kid for one more year, away from the even more intense glare he'll face as a pro.
Make a point to tell your kids about Andrew Luck - the kid who chose to finish his education, something we all say we want for our kids. He's going to receive his degree and still take his God-given talent to the next level. But for most athletes, it ends not even in college, but in high school. We must instill a pride in education. It's just not a wise gamble (or realistic) to think your kid will be the less than one percent of one percent that makes it as a pro.
I personally love it. College is one of those special times that you just can't get back. Barring a horrific injury, the NFL will be there for him next year. So what if he's not the #1 pick? He will be a first round choice and do very well. The NFL knows talent and won't penalize him for staying in school. They'll just be looking at the numbers. So, good for him. And it's not like he won't have a STANFORD degree to fall back on if he needs it.
But no, some people are saying how stupid he is for making this decision. These are probably the same people that lose sleep when the star on their team does elect to leave school for the professional ranks early. They are the ones that ask for loyalty and beg these players to come back, help their team and earn their degree. But now they think he's a fool for passing up the dollar?
So, which is it? Do you want them to be loyal or should they take the money and run? Everyday people can debate this because they will never have the chance to make the decision.
Like I said, I love it. Good for you Andrew Luck. I will be rooting for you and the Cardinal next season (with or without Jim Harbaugh - but that is another blog). You are a shining example for our young people. We are always saying that money isn't everything, and you prove it. You should do things for the love of the game, or the love of whatever occupation you are in, if you're lucky enough to have that opportunity. And it doesn't hurt that he is actually fulfilling his role as a student-athlete as well.
Now, I would not have been at all surprised if he would have made the other choice. The dream to play on Sundays and to make an obscene amount of money is about to be fulfilled. And I wouldn't have had any problem with his choice. In fact, there wouldn't be any discussion about it because, unfortunately, his decision not to go pro is the exception, not the rule.
But to all the naysayers, give it a rest. He made his decision and I'm reasonably certain he's happy with it. Can you give me one example where a player that decided to stay in school has later said he regretted that decision? I know we can find numerous examples of players that have left college early and wish they had stayed. Let him enjoy being a college kid for one more year, away from the even more intense glare he'll face as a pro.
Make a point to tell your kids about Andrew Luck - the kid who chose to finish his education, something we all say we want for our kids. He's going to receive his degree and still take his God-given talent to the next level. But for most athletes, it ends not even in college, but in high school. We must instill a pride in education. It's just not a wise gamble (or realistic) to think your kid will be the less than one percent of one percent that makes it as a pro.
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